Practice Being You.
Many of us are taught from a very early stage in our lives that it’s important to be considerate of others - which it is, of course, but to what end? Often times we wind up going so far as to make sure we aren’t being an inconvenience to someone else in any way. In Pittsburgh, how common is it for us to slam on our breaks, flash our lights and wave someone on (for way too long haha). It’s a simple analogy but it reflects how we have a way of making it our responsibility to ensure everyone else is taken care of - no matter the cost to ourselves. Even complete strangers on the road we will never see again that would have been just fine waiting for traffic to clear to make the left.
It’s really important we find authentic kindness & consideration for others without sacrificing ourselves in the process. This becomes an issue when we won’t even allow ourselves to make the left turn in our own life. When we put ourselves in the back seat, we never end up making that turn to continue to our desired destination. In this analogy, self-care & being ourselves is the left turn. Always choosing others needs before our own.
It can be really hard to break the habit/response of people pleasing, disconnecting from ourselves or just not really even thinking of ourselves at all. We need to start small. So we can slowly choose to do things that we want to do and allow ourselves to do it. We can uncover ourselves and become more ourself this way - authentically & intentionally choosing what feels good for us. Here are some questions to ponder when trying to identify what things feel the most “you”
What do I find enjoyment doing?
When do I feel the most fulfilled?
How can I find time for these things?
Using these questions can help us come up with ways that allow us to start choosing our own self-care. The desire to do something for ourselves IS NOT selfish. We all understand that at extreme levels it could become selfish but certainly not in the context we are discussing here so there’s no reason to fear that possibility. We CANNOT be responsible for everyone else at the sacrifice of who we are and what we want to accomplish in our lives. In the end, humans are wired to connect and our ability to authentically connect with others relies a lot on how well we connect with ourselves. If we cannot connect with ourselves in a way that feels good for us, we will live our lives at least partly unfulfilled and disconnected. After all, if we aren’t happy with ourselves and how we spend our time, how can we live as deeply and authentically as possible? Don't rob yourself of a life full of things your enjoy out of fear of letting anyone else down.
